Ashley Levesque

ENG110I

Introduction:

In my introduction I changed a lot. I mainly focused on adding more background information in to prepare the reader for the rest of the paper. I did not change the opening sentence though because I wanted to start off with a brief understanding of discourses. I did however change my thesis and made it more clear and understandable.

Evidence and explanations:

Some areas where I made big changes are towards the end of my first body paragraph where I talk about Gee and discourses. I changed this because I felt it was very blunt and had little transition to IMRaD. Another area that I changed a lot was the third body paragraph where I discuss Haas and her experiment on Eliza. I understood my writing but the information in the paragraph seemed to be confusing to others who have little knowledge on how Eliza connected to IMRaD so I clarified.

Reorganization:

I didn’t do much rearranging for this essay. I mostly added more information and reworded for clarification.

New paragraphs:

There were no new paragraphs in this essay compared to the first draft. I just added new information for clarification.

Part 2 is on google docs in the comments..