Ashley Levesque

Revision Planning

Sept 18, 2018

 

  1. My main concern as I was writing my draft was that I run out of information to talk about. I was also concerned that I would be really repetitive when trying to explain my thoughts.
  2. My peers seemed to like my conclusion the best. Matthew Cardona said, “Very good conclusion. Brings all ideas together into one concise piece of text”. Ben Turbide agreed with Matthew. Laura Donaghey said, “this is a good conclusion and I like how you bring up your thesis again to tie it all together. It all makes sense because of the body paragraphs but now that you are refreshing our memory and tying it all together it makes even more sense”
  3. I feel I am working best with Gee in my third paragraph. However some of my peers felt that I had some run on sentences that could be improved.
  4. I feel I am working best with Cuddy in my third paragraph as well. However, Laura Donaghey said, “maybe use some believe instead of I believe because then it leaves a question in some people’s mind wondering If people actually do believe that rather than just straight up knowing you believe it”.
  5. My peers feel I need to work more on using a more diverse selection of words to explain my thoughts. They also felt I needed to work towards improving my integration of quotes and try relating them more towards the point.